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Of all the grammar questions I hear in my ESL classroom, “Is it ‘this’ or ‘that’?” ranks right up there with affect/effect. Learners know the words look similar, but the proximity rule trips everyone up. The good news? The rule is actually simple: “this” points to what’s near you right now, “that” points to what’s far away. Once you nail this one principle, the rest clicks into place.
Think of it as a distance game: near = this, far = that. Sounds easy, and it is — once you see it in action. I’ll show you how it works in space and time, give you test sentences you can check yourself with, and walk through a dialogue where learners get stuck and how native speakers handle it naturally.
Key Takeaways
- The proximity rule — “this” = close/now; “that” = far/past. Distance can be physical, emotional, or in time.
- Singular forms only — “this” and “that” pair with singular nouns; use “these” and “those” for plurals.
- Time matters too — “I’m doing this today” (near future); “That happened years ago” (distant past).
- Emotional distance counts — “I love this idea” (it’s mine/I’m invested); “That’s not my style” (it feels foreign).
- The reversal trap — learners often swap them; test yourself: can I physically reach it? If yes, “this” usually works.
The Core Rule: Proximity in Space and Time
Demonstrative pronouns point. That’s their whole job. “This” and “that” are demonstratives that point to things, and the difference comes down to how close or far away those things are from you — whether in space, time, or even emotion.
In physical space: If I’m holding a pen and you’re standing across the room with a different pen, I’d say “this pen” (the one in my hand) and you’d say “that pen” (the one in your hand). The “closeness” is measured from each speaker.
In time: If I’m talking about something happening today or tomorrow, I use “this week” or “this afternoon.” If I’m talking about last year, I’d say “that was a great year.”
In emotion or relevance: “I really believe in this project” (it’s mine, I’m attached to it). “That movie? I didn’t like it” (it feels distant, not my thing).
This: The Closer One
“This” works for singular nouns (and the idea/concept) that are near you in space, time, or relevance.
Example 1: Physical proximity
Example: “This laptop is mine.” (I’m sitting in front of it.)
Example 2: Time reference (near future or present)
Example: “I’m meeting her this afternoon.” (A few hours from now.)
Example 3: Introducing someone or something
Example: “This is my manager, Sarah.” (She’s right here with me.)
Example 4: Referring to a recently mentioned idea
Example: “We just watched an amazing film. This is the kind of story I could rewatch a hundred times.” (The idea is fresh in the conversation.)
Example 5: Something you own or are directly connected to
Example: “This is my favorite café in town.” (I care about it, I claim it.)
Test for “this”: Ask yourself: “Am I holding it, or is it within arm’s reach? Am I talking about something happening today? Do I feel personally connected to it?” If the answer is yes, “this” is your word.
That: The Farther One
“That” works for singular nouns that are farther away in space, time, or emotional connection.
Example 1: Physical distance
Example: “That building in the distance is the museum.” (You’d need to walk there.)
Example 2: Time reference (distant past or far future)
Example: “That was the best day of my life.” (It’s in the past; the memory is older.)
Example 3: Something the other person brought up or is holding
Example: “That book you’re holding looks interesting.” (It’s in their space, not yours.)
Example 4: Abstract or impersonal reference
Example: “I don’t agree with that philosophy.” (You’re keeping distance from it.)
Example 5: Something someone else owns or controls
Example: “That car is beautiful, but it’s not mine.” (It belongs to someone else; emotional distance.)
Test for “that”: Ask yourself: “Would I need to walk to it, point to it, or reach past something to grab it? Happened a long time ago? Am I disagreeing with it or keeping my distance?” If yes, “that” is right.
This vs. That: Side-by-Side Comparison
| Dimension | This | That |
|---|---|---|
| Physical space | Close, within reach | Farther away, visible but not touchable |
| Time | Now or near future (today, this week) | Past or distant future (then, years ago) |
| Emotional closeness | I’m involved or I care | I’m observing or I’m skeptical |
| Ownership / relevance | Mine or directly relevant to me | Someone else’s or less relevant |
| Grammatical form | Singular demonstrative | Singular demonstrative |
| Plural form | “These” | “Those” |
Don’t Confuse with These / Those
Learners often slip up here: “this” and “these” are both close (plural vs. singular), while “that” and “those” are both far (singular vs. plural).
| Word | Proximity | Singular or Plural? | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| This | Close | Singular | “This apple is delicious.” |
| These | Close | Plural | “These apples are delicious.” |
| That | Far | Singular | “That apple on the shelf is rotten.” |
| Those | Far | Plural | “Those apples in the bowl are rotten.” |
✓ Correct: “This coffee is hot, but those cups over there are cold.”
✗ Incorrect: “This coffee is hot, but that cups over there are cold.” (Mixing singular “that” with plural “cups”.)
Common Mistakes and How to Fix Them
✗ Incorrect: “This building across the street is beautiful.”
✓ Correct: “That building across the street is beautiful.”
Why: “Across the street” signals distance. Even though you can see it, you’d have to walk there — use “that.”
✗ Incorrect: “I want to go to that party next Saturday.”
✓ Correct: “I want to go to this party next Saturday.”
Why: “Next Saturday” is in the near future (within the same week or two). Use “this” for time you’re anticipating.
✗ Incorrect: “That coffee in my hand is cold.”
✓ Correct: “This coffee in my hand is cold.”
Why: If it’s in your hand, it’s as close as it gets. “This” is correct.
✗ Incorrect: “These book you recommended was terrible.”
✓ Correct: “That book you recommended was terrible.”
Why: One book = singular noun. Use “that,” not “these.”
Sample Dialogue
Marco: Which laptop should I buy?
Sofia: This one here is good, but honestly, I prefer that model over there on the other shelf.
Marco: Why that one? This is cheaper.
Sofia: True, but that one has better reviews. And you mentioned wanting this upgrade feature — that laptop has it.
Marco: Good point. I’ll think about it this week and decide by this Friday.
Quick Quiz
- Which sentence is correct? A) “This mountain in the distance is tall” or B) “That mountain in the distance is tall”?
- Fill in: “I’m going to the gym _______ afternoon.” (this / that)
- Which is correct? A) “These book is mine” or B) “This book is mine”?
- Fill in: “_______ restaurant where we ate last month was closed.” (This / That)
- Correct the error: “That chair right here is broken.”
Answers: 1. B (“that mountain” — it’s in the distance) · 2. this (near future) · 3. B (singular noun needs singular demonstrative) · 4. That (past time) · 5. “This chair right here is broken” (if it’s right here, use “this”).
Related Articles
- ↑ Master Pillar: English Grammar
- Affected vs. Effected
- Defence vs. Defense
- ↑ Back to pillar: English Confused Words (Pillar)
Frequently Asked Questions
What’s the main difference between “this” and “that”?
Proximity. “This” refers to something close to you in space, time, or relevance. “That” refers to something farther away. You can use the test: “Can I reach it or is it happening soon?” If yes, use “this.” If no, use “that.”
Can you use “that” for something in the near future?
No. For the near future (today, this week, this month), use “this”: “I’m going to the dentist this Friday.” For the distant past or far future, use “that”: “That was five years ago.”
Is “this” singular and “that” plural?
No. Both “this” and “that” are singular. Their plural forms are “these” (close, plural) and “those” (far, plural). Example: “This book” (singular) vs. “These books” (plural).
When should I use “that” instead of “this” in introductions?
Use “that” when the person or thing is not physically present with you: “That’s my manager on the phone.” Use “this” when they’re right there: “This is my manager, Sarah.”
Can “this” and “that” refer to ideas, not just objects?
Absolutely. “This idea we just discussed is brilliant” (the idea is fresh, you’re invested). “That approach won’t work” (you’re keeping distance, you’re skeptical).
How do I remember which is which?
Affect starts with **A** for **Action**; This starts with **Th** and sounds almost like “the-IS” — both close and present. That has a longer sound and feels farther away. You can also picture: THIS = here; THAT = there.
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